MARCH 13 — I know how it sounds — fake it till you make it? It’s the kind of phrase you’d expect from a self-help seminar or a motivational Instagram post. But hear me out. I think it’s actually a solid approach to life, especially when you’re feeling stuck, lost, or unsure of what you want to be.
The world today moves fast — too fast, if we’re being honest. Trends come and go, opinions shift overnight, and the pressure to have it all figured out can feel overwhelming. Everyone seems to be an expert at something, living their “best life” while you’re just trying to decide what to order for lunch.
Yes, or selecting which ‘buka puasa’ dish at the Ramadan bazaar, now that we are in fasting month.
And that’s exactly where the problem lies. Many people don’t really know who they want to be. They scroll through social media, absorbing endless highlight reels of success and perfection, and end up blindly following what’s popular. One day they want to be a fitness guru, the next a celebrity chef-cum-entrepreneur, then a travel vlogger, then a food critic and reviewer, and before they know it, they’re back to square one — still unsure, still searching for answers that they believe is ‘out’ there, somewhere.
So, let’s simplify things. Let’s focus on one thing. Just one.
Pick your path — then walk it
If you’re struggling with what you want in life, stop waiting for clarity to magically appear. Pick something that speaks to you — even if it’s just a whisper of an idea — and start acting as if you are already on that path. Want to be a writer? Start writing. Want to be a leader? Start leading. Want to be a more confident person? Start behaving like one. You don’t need permission. You don’t need an official title. You just need to start.
Think of it this way: when a young doctor starts practicing medicine, they don’t feel like a doctor right away. They might even experience imposter syndrome, questioning whether they’re good enough. But day after day, patient after patient, they become a doctor — not just in title, but in skill and confidence. The same applies to any role in life. You grow into it by doing.
You see, this idea isn’t just some feel-good advice. There’s actual psychology behind it. The self-perception theory proposed by psychologist Daryl Bem in 1972 suggests that we form our identities based on our behaviours. In other words, if you start acting like the person you want to become, your brain begins to accept it as reality.
The author advocates picking one thing and sticking at it, for then he believes you will bloom into who you are meant to be. — Unsplash pic
And then there’s the Pygmalion effect — the idea that higher expectations lead to higher performance. If you expect yourself to succeed in something, and behave accordingly, chances are you’ll start meeting those expectations.
It’s not magic. It’s psychology.
Now, I know what some of you might say — “But isn’t this just pretending?” Well, no. Pretending is putting on a false front for others. Faking it till you make it is about putting yourself through the process of growth.
Compare it to social media, where many people are actually pretending. They post filtered versions of their lives, carefully curating an image they want others to see. But the problem is, they aren’t actually living it. They aren’t growing into that person. They’re just crafting an illusion.
That’s not what we’re doing here. What I’m talking about is consciously stepping into a role, taking small, consistent actions every day, and allowing yourself to become what you set out to be. There’s a huge difference.
And the tricky part isn’t actually starting. It’s staying. Sticking to your path when things get hard, when self-doubt creeps in, when results don’t show up immediately. But that’s the test. The ones who make it in any field, in any aspect of life, aren’t necessarily the most talented. They’re just the ones who didn’t quit.
Look at any successful person — athletes, artists, entrepreneurs. They didn’t wake up one day with all the answers. They started somewhere, likely feeling unqualified and unsure. But they showed up, day after day, until what once felt like faking it became second nature.
So, whatever it is that you want — pick it. Commit to it. And stay at it.
Because one day, without even realising it, you’ll look back and see that you made it. And that’s when you’ll know — you weren’t faking it after all. You were just becoming.
*Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at [email protected]
** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
